Microaggression and Miley

As a kid, I was afraid of my cousins, Bernie and Bud. They came to for a visit each summer to our lake home. They were older than I was, by eight and ten years. They were very tall and very, very pale. Berny and Bud are albinos. I was most afraid of their eyes. Their iris's were red and their eyes had difficulty focusing, the trembled back and forth. They needed to always stay in the shade to protect their skin so they were never able to swim with us during the day. They kept to themselves, stayed indoors, and read.

My family taught me a clear lesson about being kind to people who are different. Even as a small child, I knew to be polite, not to point, and to save my questions about differences until we were out of earshot from anyone who might be hurt by my questions. I raised my own children with the same values.

Microaggressions are everywhere. In the beauty salon this week, a father told his young daughter not to aspire to be like Miley Cyrus with her "butch-dyke" haircut. In the movie theater today, the audience laughed over and over at albino jokes in the movie "The Heat" with Melissa McCarthy and Sandra Bullock. I wonder if either woman noticed the microaggressions in the script. I am assuming that they need to personally deal with plenty of microaggressions in their lives involving obesity and mixed race families. Then again, maybe because of the personal power each of them has in celebrity and all the perks that accompany that, they may not.

I wonder if the man in the beauty salon would have been so quick to judge a haircut and comment so comfortably if he knew that one of my daughters is gay. I wonder if anyone would have laughed so loudly in the movie theater today had I attended the movie with my cousin, Bud instead of my husband. I also wonder how this weeks readings, reflective time, and personal growth will manifest in the way I handle micro aggressions from now on.

For the record, I am obnoxious about my own microinsults. If I could wear my "I am silently judging your grammar" shirt everyday, I would. I also struggle with fashion challenged folks and believe that I could make the world a prettier place if only people would let me dress them and do their hair. I was raised on a good daily dose of sarcasm and can dish it out with the best of them. My golden rule is this, if I find myself apologizing, I have gone too far. Humor is a slippery slope. I like to think I have mastered the art of a good ribbing but always respect peoples feelings.